Control

Sometimes I like to walk down the confection'ry aisle at the supermarket and look at all the stuff I'd like to eat.  I take it off the shelf, imagine eating it, then put it back and walk on.

Sometimes I drive into service stations, open the fuel tank, take the pump off the bowser, stand there for a minute imagining myself filling up my car with cool rich petrol, then put the pump back again and drive away.

Sometimes I hang around doctors' waiting rooms, wondering what it would be like to go in for an appointment.  I sit there, holding a 1994 National Geographic, imagining myself reading it.  Then I leave.

In winter when it's cold, I like to stack up wood in the fireplace, carefully getting all the kindling in just the right place.  I put the matches right there next to it.  I leave it overnight, then take it all apart again in case, in a moment of weakness, I light it.

Sometimes I get on the interwebs and go to google.com and just sit there for a while, thinking about all the fantastic sites that I could find if I just typed in the right search terms.  Then I turn off my computer.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and lie there in bed for hours, thinking about all the wonderful things I might learn if I was to go to uni that day.  Then I read a book, have a snooze, and get up to make myself dinner.