Two humorous stories about death

When we stroll down to the local hotel that makes good coffee we like to sit out the front overlooking the sea.  It's very sea-nic - haha, just a small joke there to get us all warmed up. 

The hotel actually overlooks the greens of the town bowling club which are right next to the sea.  The thing that struck me recently is that the companies that have chosen to put up advertisements on the low brick walls enclosing the greens seem to have a very definite target market in mind - old people.  And fair enough too, since the vast majority of the people I see bowling there would be of retirement age or older.  But the strange thing is that the ads almost seem to have been placed in chronological order along the wall so that they tell a little retirement story.

First comes the ad for the real estate agent.  (Buy a holiday home!)  Next comes the ad for the removal company.  (Move down here for good!)  Finally there is the ad for the funeral home.  (Drop dead on the bowling green!)  It all seems a bit blunt for my liking.

Speaking of funeral homes, it was drawn to my attention recently that in a lot of small towns the ambulance service is run by volunteers, and apparently in one town nearby the ambulance volunteer is the guy who runs the funeral home.  While I think there are obvious efficiencies to be gained by this arrangement, I do find the clear conflict of interest a bit unnerving.  What if he got tempted to convert some of his volunteer ambulance clients into paying funeral clients?  All it would take is a bit of dawdling on the way to hospital.

I'm not pointing the finger, you understand.  I'm just saying it's kind of strange.  I'd rather have an ambulance driver who had some kind of vested interest in me staying alive, like a barber or something.