Twilight fan-fic

Bella dashed ahead of Edward so he could barely see her through the woods in the moonlight.  He could easily have caught her in an instant with his sooper-dooper vampire speed but with his hunter's instincts he knew that the pursuit was more enjoyable than the chase.  For a moment his mind wandered, thinking back on the first day he met her.  She seemed so clumsy and foolish then, but now she was all he could think about.

All of a sudden Edward realized that he couldn't see Bella anymore!  "Oh no!", he thought, "What if she has been ambushed by that other bad vampire James, or that werewolf Jacob, or that ninja-pirate-monkey Rex?"  But then he breathed a sigh of relief as he entered a little clearing and saw Bella sitting there on the soft mossy ground waiting for him.  Her chest heaved as she gasped for breath, not because she was puffed, but because Edward was so breathtakingly beautiful in his gracefulness that she had a short attack of dyspnoea.

"Oh Edward!", she said, "I know that you do not want to drink my blood because you think it is wrong."  Edward nodded, knowing that he had lived for more than a hundred years on black pudding.  "But now, when we are to be married so soon, perhaps you should have a taste of my vital essence so it will bind us together in love and so on and so forth."

"Okay", said Edward.  Bella bared the flesh of her neck and arched her back.

"Please relax your neck and turn slightly to the left", said Edward.  The pulsation of her internal jugular vein was clearly visible as it ran deep to the sternocleidomastoid muscle and beneath her clavicle.  Edward paused to savour the moment - then he bit down.  His teeth sliced through her so delicately, light as a lover's touch, and she felt an exquisite pain that sent ice through her muscles and fire down her spine.  She felt like she was both melting and burning up.

Edward had to wrench himself away from her neck and her blood before taking too much and putting them both in peril.  He rolled his tongue around his mouth, feeling the blood richly coat his teeth and gums.  "Strange...", he thought.

Bella looked deep into his eyes and saw him hesitate.  "What is it?", she cried, "Is something wrong?"

"Well, yes", said Edward, "The taste of your blood, I can tell..."

"What?  What?", begged Bella.

"Your blood tastes rich and thick.  Delicious.  But ... too thick.  I can tell by the taste that you have an inherited coagulopathy."

"Huh?", said Bella, taken aback that their passionate encounter seemed to be getting a little wierd even for them.

"It's called Factor V Leiden disorder.  Basically, factor V that forms part of the clotting cascade in your blood is unable to be cleaved and degraded by protein C due to a single nucleotide polymorphism that results in a change of one amino acid in factor V." explained Edward, romantically.

"ZOMG, I'm a monster!" wailed Bella.

"Not at all", Edward sternly reassured her.  "About 5% of white North Americans have this mutation.  Most of the time it has no effect on you at all, though it does predispose you to developing deep vein thrombosis.  If you were to go on the pill or go through menopause or take up smoking or have a prolonged period of immobility (for example during a long-distance plane trip or following surgery), it's much more likely that you'd get a DVT and possibly have a pulmonary embolism, which could be life-threatening."

"Wow - how did you learn so much about blood?" marvelled Bella.

"I'm a vampire", said Edward, and chuckled his vampiric chuckle.

"I love you so much", gushed Bella.

"Me too", agreed Edward, and they held hands and looked at the stars and talked about how beautiful they were.