Suggestion

I think that the word "pineapple" should be pronounced "pie-neeple". That way the pronunciation will be more in line with the spelling. The advantages of this new approach will be:

1. People will find it easier to learn English. This will bring the people of the world closer together and we will have fewer wars.
2. People's interest in pineapple will be stimulated, leading to a surge in pineapple purchasing. The global economy will experience a pineapple-led recovery.
3. It will reduce confusion. No longer will people think that pineapples are a type of apple (or a type of pine) with a subsequent reduction in all of the tragic sequelae thereof.
4. I think it will freshen up our lives a bit. What fun! How whimsical!

Who's with me?