Just got my hair cut! Woo-eee! Those of you who have seen me recently will know that it was long overdue. Generally I only get my hair cut when it has gotten long enough to really enrage me. I'm more than happy to have long, straggly pseudo-sideburns (ie: not actually growing out of the area down the jaw, just hanging there floppily from the side of the head) and stupid over-the-collar hair at the back. The thing that really annoys me is the little curly bit up the top of my forehead which attempts to stand up straight. My hair is like partisans in occupied territory - if you don't keep the individual strands under control, sooner or later they will band together and organise some serious resistance, and then there's trouble. Trains getting de-railed, officers being shot in nightclubs, that kind of thing.
The highlight of this haircut (not a real highlight involving colouring, just a figurative highlight)
was at the end when the hairdresser offered to trim my eyebrows. Initially I was shocked. Did she think I was some kind of old man? She made me feel like Gough Whitlam. But then I thought ... why not? She's a professional, she knows crazybrows when she sees them. And maybe this will be the fresh new look that I've been searching for.
It turned out that it wasn't my eyebrows in general which were problematic. There were just a couple of mutant freak hairs on each side which were inexplicably long, thick and grey. They were bad apples, bringing down the tone of my brows and ruining it for all the better behaved, more disciplined hairs. Once they were gone I was rejuvenated! I feel like my eyebrows are more expressive now. Sleek and glossy, like they are made from otter pelts.
I was feeling pretty pumped about my new manscaped look so I sent a text message to my Smaller Half, letting her know about my adventures in pruning. She had the temerity to laugh at me and suggest that next time I should get them to trim my nose and ear hair too. And that was when I realized that this was going straight up on the interwebs.
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4 comments:
There there Gandalf.
Okay, I'll pay that, it's pretty funny. I accused one of my Esteemed Colleagues of writing that but he denied it. One day I will find out who you are and you'll be in big trouble sonny-jim.
I'll give you a clue. I know what a multi-melta is...
You sound like some kind of futuristic Crocodile Dundee. "That's not a multi-melta. THIS is a multi-melta!"
Maybe you should consider wearing a little leather waistcoat.
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