Wednesday, September 22, 2010

That's my hatstand

In 1983 Paul Young topped the charts with his cover of a Marvin Gaye song in which he sang, "I'm the type of boy who's always on the roam."  I remember wanting to be that kind of boy when I grew up, probably because it seemed like a good way of getting on television.  Although I haven't done much in the way of "love them and I leave them, break their hearts and deceive them", I do have a history of career instability so perhaps I have achieved my aim in other ways.  Nobody's written any songs about me yet though.

It made me start wondering - what type of boy am I?

I'm the type of boy who:
  • gets the Vegemite out of the cupboard, opens it up, realizes there isn't quite enough left to top one piece of toast, and puts it back in the cupboard again.  And does the same thing the next day.
  • spends more time doing background research on his lecturer's unusual given name from Greek mythology rather than going through the respiratory physiology pre-reading that the lecturer gave him.
  • has seven books in progress at his bedside and goes looking for another one because none of them are quite right.
  • piles stuff up on one desk until it is unusable then moves to a new desk and starts piling stuff up on it too.
  • writes a shopping list using the word "the" in front of everything because it looks funny: the onions, the celery, the butter, the paper towels, the soap, the tinned tomatoes.
  • knows your name but is too afraid to use it in conversation just in case he appears to use it too hesistantly and makes you think that he's unsure of it.
  • will give you a large though unspecified number of chances and then hold an iron grudge against you for the rest of his life if you screw up that last time.
  • often tries so hard to do something well that he does it badly.
  • bought some headless plastic Roman legionaries on eBay for 99 cents and free shipping because it might be fun to glue monster heads on them.
Do you think Marvin Gaye could write a good song about me with that material?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I feel like I know you that little bit better PTR, not sure how Marvin Gaye will go though.

Anonymous said...

What a waste of monster heads.