I was expecting the flat white to be the Hot Beverage of choice, but only 13% of people chose it. Perhaps these are the same 13% of people I mentioned in my previous post who would change their vote if only they'd known we'd end up with a hung parliament.
Cafe Latte got 10% which was again less than I expected. Can I take this opportunity, as a recently reformed milky coffee drinker, to scoff at your pathetic need for milk? Drinking milky coffee is a sign of childishness and inconsequentiality of character.
Real men, like myself, and real women, less like myself, drink their coffee black. Drinking black coffee is a sign of sophistication, elegance, and a certain world-weary ennui that is somehow not tiresome to one's friends. Ever noticed that people in black and white movies drink black coffee? That's because they have style. Ever notice that people in sepia-tone photos drink milky coffee? That's because they are cliched.
So it was disappointing to me to find that only 9% of you drink black coffee, since mine was the sole vote for the long black and should rightly be excluded. That means that the others are all short black drinkers. Scary stuff. I find people who drink short blacks a little bit frightening. It's not that they seem more likely than the rest of us to explode into sudden, mindless violence. No wait - it is.
That leaves macchiato drinkers, a surprising 18% of you. Now I confess that I myself have partaken of the macchiato but solely on financial grounds. At one cafe I know, a double shot macchiato is actually cheaper than a flat white. Not that I'd drink a flat white any more. Ha. But I don't really "get" the macchiato. You take the mindlessly violent short black and tip a leftover babycino into it. If you enjoy drinking toddler spit I suppose it's fair enough but 18% is definitely higher than I would have expected.
Thanks for voting. The next poll, as suggested by an incredibly nerdy comment by a reader, concerns your favourite Doctor Who. Vote now or I'll travel back in time and kill your ancestors. Or worse, seduce them.