Freem!

Poll results finalized! 14 votes, which is another good response, excluding the distinct possibility that some of you twerps voted multiple times for a whole range of dumb reasons. But thanks for your participation! I really admire the fact that you are trying your best to read and stuff.

Anyway, 50% of you thought that really big ray-guns go "pew pew pew!" which, to be honest, surprised me. I think you'll find that it's tiny little ray-guns that go "pew pew pew!".

Still, it was a better answer than the 2 of you who thought that really big ray-guns make no noise at all. Ha! I scoff at your pseudo-intellectual wrong-headedness! If it made no noise at all, how would stuff get blowed up by it? The scientists would have to add a thing to make a noise so it could zap people, wouldn't they? And then it would make a noise. So you're wrong.

Three of you thought that a really big ray-gun would go "Brrrdoo! Brrrdoo!" and you're close to the mark but not quite there. A ray-gun that it takes two hands to use would go "Brrrdoo! Brrrdoo!" but it's not really big, is it?

No, a really big ray-gun would have to be mounted on a tank or a plane or a deaf-star or something like that. And it would definitely go "Freem!" - and it would only do it once because buddy when you get hit by that thing you're lying down straight away so they don't do it again. Oh yeah.

So if you picked "Freem!" then give yourself a pat on the back. Well done.

If you picked "Brrrdoo! Brrrdoo!" then set your shoulders back and pledge to do better next time - you have potential.

If you chose "Pew pew pew!" then bite your arm until it leaves teeth-marks. You've got a lot to learn.

And if you chose "No noise at all", you know where the door is. Get out.