Anyway, I was telling you that I don't hate nurses. I have no stories to tell you about likeable nurses to prove this because stories in which everyone acts in a reasonable and pleasant way aren't very memorable or interesting. But just keep in mind that most nurses are great because I'm about to unload on one chump who happens to be a nursing student.
The problem is this - he seems to be very competitive with me and is always trying to show me up. For example, on his first day I had a syringe driver that I was about to hook up to a patient. The guy stops me and points to a series of tiny bubbles in the tubing and insisted that I flush them out of the line. When I said I hadn't noticed them, he said "That's what nurses are for! Lucky I was here." For the record, to give someone an air embolus you need to get about 200 mL into their veins, The bubbles in the tube would have been a fraction of a drop. Still, nice catch there, Inspector. He spent the next 10 minutes flicking the syringe to try to remove some errant molecules of nitrogen clinging to the side of it.
This week he managed to creep up behind me while I was discussing a patient's medication with her, and chip in with unhelpful comments just at the worst moment:
PTRSo you've gotten good pain relief from fentanyl. This means we'll be able to think about a range of medications to find one that's right for you.
Annoying Nursing StudentIt's a class of drugs called opioids. Things like morphine.
Worried PatientMorphine? I don't want to take morphine! Isn't that for people who are dying?
PTRA lot of people are worried about that. But there are lots of people who use morphine or similar medications for pain control. The reason that these drugs have this reputation for being for dying people is that they are effective. So they do get used in extreme situations. But they are also useful for people like you who only need much smaller doses.
Annoying Nursing StudentWatch out though, because if you take too much you'll stop breathing and die.
*"work" being defined in this case as performing pointless tasks for no remuneration.