My Smaller Half and I became bogans yesterday for the day. It was a bit like that Bowie song, We can be heroes, except boganish because we ate at Ikea.
We took the Hatchling along for a shopping trip because my Smaller Half wanted to suss out ... something ... I can't remember what it was any more, because we emerged blinking into the sunlight 3 hours later with some picture frames, a hanging photo thing that looks like a roll of film, and some fabric. I almost bought some fake bamboo plants but it was wrestled out of my hands by my Smaller Half who failed to appreciate my primal urge to cannibalize Ikea products to make wargames terrain. Tragic.
Anyway, after we'd been careening around for a while looking at Molger, Stokki, Ribbi, Svalbo and the other Swedish dwarves, the Hatchling decided that she really needed to be fed RIGHT NOW so we plonked ourselves down in the cafe and plugged her in. Then I discovered that Ikea sells bottomless cups of coffee for a buck ninety five. Even the worst coffee in the world is a bargain at that price. (Side node: why is it called "bottomless"? It's a very poor analogy indeed. A bottomless cup would be absolutely useless and you'd get nothing to drink at all.) So I filled up on cheap coffee which was actually about 3 stars out of 5, so not the worst coffee I've had recently.
Oh, and the reason I've been banging on about Ikea at all is that the checkout chick's name tag said "Smaggie". I asked her if her name was really Smaggie, and she said that it was a nickname because her real name was very long. I said that Smaggie sounded just like an Ikea product and I'd thought that maybe the staff all Ikea-ize their names. Smaggie just gave me a funny look. I thought it was a fair question though.