I don't get no respect

I had a pretty substandard day today in my tutorial. Since I'd been gallivanting in Melbourne all long weekend at a friend's wedding, I had done zero work. Unfortunately my tactic of making hilarious jokes to cover up my ignorance failed today on account of being unable to make hilarious jokes.

For example, after an Esteemed Colleague had been talking about microadenomas of the pituitary being defined as those tumours up to 1 cm in size, I wittily observed that if a microadenoma was 1 cm across, then an adenoma would be 10 km across! (sound of crickets chirping) Seriously, that was some of my best material and it just crashed and burned in there.

I also managed to be blatantly incorrect about stuff that I dredged up out of my memory. So when the tutorial notes mentioned the use of a exophthalmometer, I leaped in and claimed that it was a device which measures intra-ocular pressure by bouncing a pulse of air off your eye. Now, I believe that such a device does actually exist, but it isn't called an exophthalmometer, as was made embarrassingly clear to me just a few minutes later. An exophthalmometer is a set of calipers and prisms which you use to measure how far someone's eyes are bulging out of their sockets. Different concept entirely.

This led to the following conversation between my Smaller Half and I over dinner tonight.

PTR
What's the name of that thing that measures eye pressure by bouncing air off your eye?

Smaller Half
It's an optometron.

PTR
Wow. Optometron. That's such a cool name...
[short pause]
Wait, you just made that up!

Smaller Half
You're so gullible!
[Dies laughing]

It is because of such shenanigans that I dispute the opinion of my recently married friend's mother who thought that my Smaller Half was far too lovely to be a doctor. I believe she is a fiendish scoundrel who will be right at home in the cut-throat world of medical practice.