Just get on with it you lazy git

Well, here we are, nearing the end of the first week back at uni after a couple of months away. It's been pretty up and down for me.

This time last week I was really looking forward to coming back. I felt like my brain was getting flabby and I needed something to work it out on. Tuesday was great - we had an anatomy lecture and prac and a pathology prac too. That stuff always gets me interested.

But then yesterday I was the complete opposite - I had the whole day free to work and ended up wasting it. I don't mean wasting it in the sense of not doing anything: one of my Secrets For Graceful Living is that it's okay to goof off, as long as I've made a conscious decision to do that. But yesterday I wasted because I meant to work, but never quite got started.

You know the routine I am sure. "I'll start work at 9". "I'll start work at 10". "I'll just read one more chapter of this schlocky sci-fi novel". "I'll just eat some second breakfast". "I'll start after lunch". "I really need a snooze now". "I'll start at 3". "3.30". "I'd better start thinking about what I'm going to cook for dinner". "Better pop out to the supermarket". "Ooh, my Smaller Half is home, let's eat some cake". "Let's go for a walk". "It's dinner time". "No, no, let me wash the dishes". "I just have to make some friands for the tutorial tomorrow". "Oops - bedtime".

My Aged Mother always says, "There's no such thing as "can't", only "won't". Yoda said much the same thing. Yesterday was not so much a case of "I can't get started" as a case of "I won't get started". I think the little homunculus upstairs had planned it all from the beginning. And really, that's fine. I just wish he would tell me so I could have done something interesting instead.

Still, I'm making progress. Usually after a day like that I would be extremely tired and grumpy and unpleasant to be around. But yesterday I was able to be a bit more Zen about it. I just thought, "well that's the way it went", and concentrated on trying to deal with some of the other reasons I might be unpleasant to be around.

Aaaah - the pain that can be told is but half a pain. (I think it was Oscar Wilde who said that in Aristotle's "War of the Worlds".)