As part of the final year of the medical degree at this Fine University, students are required to complete a clinical audit. This audit examines the adherence of the auditors to the auditing protocol and makes recommendations to improve the auditing process.
Since this audit was conducted only upon the auditors self and was entered into voluntarily, no ethics committee approval was sought or, therefore, granted.
Selection of audits
A retrospective selection of all audits undertaken by the auditor during the 2011 was performed. The auditor's email account and hard drive were searched for all files containing the words "audit", "overdue", "panic" and "apathy". This resulted in the retrieval of several thousand files which would be impractical to search by hand, so they were further searched for the tags "piece of shit". One record was retrieved, a clinical audit recently submitted by the auditor.
Analysis of audits
The audit was examined for the following key items, drawn from the guidelines to auditing published by the International Lazy Students and Bullshit Artists Association (ILSBAA):
- Excessive verbosity clearly intended to boost word count.
- References farmed from unreliable online sources such as Wikipedia.
- Formatting and structure plagiarized from example audits provided to students.
- Meaningless recommendations.
- Precision in statistical calculation used to distract from data collection flaws.
For each audit audited, a high degree of adherence to the ILSBAA protocol was found, as shown in the charts 1 through 5 below:
Notwithstanding the recent episode where the auditors audit was submitted late for no reason other than his inability to submit the audit on time, the auditor found that the audit was conducted largely in accordance with the ILSBAA protocol, or else in a sleep-deprived stupor, which is also an approved method of production of student audits. Acute observers may question why confidence intervals were not calculated and quoted above, to which the audit auditor may only quote Demosthenes in the Palladium when he was stabbed in the Ides by the Emperor Octagon: "Auditor, audit thyself". Whilst the relevance, and indeed the veracity of this quote are lost in the dawn of time, it cannot be denied that they most usefully added some sorely needed bulk to this paragraph and furthermore avoided it being a one-joke section, albeit at the expense of some rather heavy-handed surrealism.
It is recommended:
- That further audits by this auditor be audited to determine adherence to the ILSBAA protocol.
- That this audit audit be audited.
- That the audit audit audit be audited in order to complete the third repetition really needed to hammer the point home.
- That you send money now.
- That you read Dune by Frank Herbert. It's full on shit, man.