Thursday, February 3, 2011

Certain words

One of my favourite words at the moment is "certain".  Not in the sense of "sure", but in the sense of "particular".  I like it because using the word "certain" can change the whole flavour of your sentence, creating an illusionary air of informativeness whilst actually contributing nothing specific that can come back to hurt you.
Here's an example - consider this sentence:
"Whilst reversing out of my driveway I sideswiped my neighbours' cars."
And now consider it rewritten slightly to include the word "certain":
"Whilst reversing out of my driveway I sideswiped certain neighbours' cars."
In one fell swoop I have gone from being a klutzy driver to a malevolent vandal.  The word "certain" has transformed the event from accident to incident.

And think about this one:
"During attempts at resuscitation by emergency department staff, the patient expired."
Which then becomes:
"During attempts at resuscitation by certain emergency department staff, the patient expired."
Or even this:
"During certain attempts at resuscitation by emergency department staff, the patient expired."
The first is a statement of fact, the second is an insinuation of incompetence, the third makes you wonder if they were using smoked kippers and AAA batteries to try to revive the poor guy.

So here's my tip of the day.  Try slipping the word "certain" into otherwise innocuous sentences and see what happens.  Even if it all blows up in your face you can just claim that certain people took your remarks out of context.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm trying to think of something really stupid to write as a comment.

PTR said...

Mission accomplished

Anonymous said...

Certain mission accomplished