Thursday, February 24, 2011

On sunflowers

Sunflowers are creepy.

Let's face it - they don't look real at all.  They look like a bad drawing of a flower.  Or someone taking the piss out of flowers.  Or - and think about this carefully, your life may depend upon it - they look like something else entirely that is pretending to be a plant.

Something from a far away place.  Something that doesn't understand what humans expect plants to look like.  So they disguised themselves as these spindly things with flappy leaves and strange giant faces, thinking that they could watch us incognito.  But we're onto them.  We know that they waddle around in the black of night, making their reports and issuing recommendations for our eventual disposal or enslavement.  And when we we drive past them in their fields they give themselves away by all doing the same thing and looking in the same direction at the same time.

It's a conspiracy.


Anonymous said...


Have you never played Plants vrs Zombies? Sunflowers are your friends. They are the building block of any good lawn defence.

PTR said...

That's just what they want us to think. How tall are you? Do you have a large round face?