Seven affirmations

As you may know, I live in interesting times.  Just had a bust-up with my supervisor, moving house next week, exams in a couple more weeks, baby due a couple of weeks after that.  By this time in December I will be a tiny wizened old man.

My Aged Mother was clearly concerned about me so she emailed me to remind me to recite my Seven Affirmations every morning to keep my spirits up.  I had to admit to her that not only do I not recite them, I do not actually have Seven Affirmations.

Sure, I have a morning recitation, but it goes like this:

1. Arrrgh, somebody get that cat off my face!
2. What's that godawful noise?  Snooze button!  Snooze button!
3. It's happening again!  Turn it off!
4. Oh my god, look at the time!  Get up!  Get up!
5. It's freezing in here!  Where are my ugg-boots?
6. I think my bladder is about to explode!  Run!
7. Maybe I'll cut back on coffee next week.

I don't those are the type of Affirmations that my Aged Mother wants me to make.  I think she wants me to leap out bed and say something like:

1. I am beautiful.
2. I am intelligent.
3. I am certified in the use of power tools.

and so on.  But (as is probably obvious from the paltry list above) I can't actually think of seven things that are positive (as opposed to not negative, such as "I am not anaemic").  I think the problem here is that I'm a medical student. Somebody is paid a rather large wage simply to tell me what a hopeless sack of shit I am.

Well, the joke's on them.  I am certified in the use of power tools.