Friday, October 29, 2010

The OSCE is like a dose of clap

In a few weeks I'll be sitting our final OSCE (a practical exam).  There will be twenty stations, each of five minutes.  Because there are more than twenty people in my class, we're divided into in four groups: a morning and afternoon session each of which has two parallel "streams" running at the same time with the same stations.

Yesterday we got the email allocating us to our spot in this big chaotic event.  I am not pleased that I am in the "yellow" stream.  This immediately made me think of Whistler telling the Prince Of Wales that he was like a stream of bat's piss in the Monty Python sketch about Oscar Wilde.  That's not really the image I need to get me psyched up.

So I'm going to think of it as the gold stream.  When the rebels attacked the Death Star, did they have a yellow squadron?  No, they had a gold squadron.  Red, blue, gold, green.  Much better.

Actually, since I am listed first on the list of stations, I think of myself as Gold Leader.  A quick check on Wookiepedia shows that this makes me Jon "Dutch" Vander.

Which is nice, sure, but there are a few problems with it.  First, Gold Squadron was flying Y-wings, not X-wings.  Y-wings are pretty gumby starfighters if you want my opinion.  X-wings are where it's at.  The Y-wing is to the X-wing as C-3PO is to R2-D2.  And second, Dutch was shot down and killed by Darth Vader after he panicked during the trench run on the Death Star exhaust port.  Not a good omen for my OSCE outcome. Hopefully none of the OSCE stations will involve exhaust ports.

Still, at least I stood up for what is right and sacrificed myself to help defeat the Empire.  Maybe I'll get bonus empathy marks to make up for my lack of galactic competence.


Anonymous said...

i think there will be at least one station involving exhaust ports. Hopefully if there is need to accurately place a photon torpedo you are better than luke as Another run at is is unlikely.

Anonymous said...

Do any of the lecturing staff have breathing problems or voices like James Earl Jones? If so you're definitely fucked. And the OSCE won't go well either.

Anonymous said...

Do you think the examiners will find it amusing if I begin every station by yelling "It's a trap!"?

PTR said...

That will work nicely. You do that and I'll follow up by saying, "I have a bad feeling about this".