My Aged Mother was clearly concerned about me so she emailed me to remind me to recite my Seven Affirmations every morning to keep my spirits up. I had to admit to her that not only do I not recite them, I do not actually have Seven Affirmations.
Sure, I have a morning recitation, but it goes like this:
- Arrrgh, somebody get that cat off my face!
- What's that godawful noise? Snooze button! Snooze button!
- It's happening again! Turn it off!
- Oh my god, look at the time! Get up! Get up!
- It's freezing in here! Where are my ugg-boots?
- I think my bladder is about to explode! Run!
- Maybe I'll cut back on coffee next week.
- I am beautiful.
- I am intelligent.
- I am certified in the use of power tools.
Well, the joke's on them. I am certified in the use of power tools.