Weapon of choice

The results from my world famous "Choose a weapon" poll are in!  This is how you folks voted:

• Dagger - 3
• Rope - 0
• Candlestick - 4
• Revolver - 3
• Spanner - 2
• Lead pipe - 6

Presumably you all recognised that the weapons listed were those from the boardgame "Cluedo", a.k.a. "Clue".  I put the poll up because it always seemed to me that the possible murder weapons were kind of stupid and I was wondering if other people agreed.  It seems not.

A dagger or knife I can understand.  I wouldn't choose that myself though - very messy instead, with much shrieking.  Eeeeee!!!!  But available nevertheless.  A revolver would be my choice.  Quick, effective.  Hard to get hold of one unless you're a cowboy.  Another tool of the cowboy, rope, has always seemed a bit infeasible to me as a tool of murder.  I suppose you could try to trick somebody into hanging themselves as if it was some kind of life-size Punch & Judy show.  Or maybe you should try to tie someone to an anvil that you throw off a cliff like in a Roadrunner cartoon.  I guess if that option had said "Rope and Anvil" it would have got more than zero votes.

Candlestick, spanner and lead pipe collectively got 12 votes, which really surprised me.  Bludgeoning someone to death seems particularly brutal.  I for one will take care to be more courteous to my commenters from now on.  I did not know you were such hard cases.

The candlestick seems the only really plausible one of those three though.  There are plenty of candlesticks in those old manor houses.  And people are always falling violently against them.  Again and again.  And again.  Whereas a spanner seems inappropriate.  Too workmanlike.  There was no room marked "The Shed" on the Cluedo board.  I think it should be taken out of the game and replaced with a 9-iron.  Likewise for the lead pipe.  Not only do you end up doing time for murder, your carpets get wrecked by the water damage.  The lead pipe should be replaced with a bust of Thucycides or some such aristomocratic item.  It would add more realism to the game.  But then, perhaps teaching youngsters effective ways to murder people isn't such a good idea.  Oh wait, what am I thinking?  Playstation.

Thanks for voting everyone.  It was very educational.  I learned that my readers are primarily vicious working class thugs.  Just like me.

p.s. New poll up now!  Vote now or be temporarily disenchanted with your lack of initiative.