State of the anion

I won't deny that I've been feeling pretty negative recently.  But I think things are starting to turn around thanks to a week of chatting to my Smaller Half about it and some deep thought.

The first Breakthrough Revelation (tm) I had was that it's pointless to compare my own experiences with those of my classmates.  Other people in my year are in totally different environments ranging from major tertiary hospitals to tiny rural GP clinics.  Even my Esteemed Colleague in the same practice as me is already diverging from me in terms of her exposure to patients simply because of the vagaries of our timetables.  It's really good to hear what my Esteemed Colleagues at more remote sites are up to (for example here and here) because it all gets added into the big slush fund of life experience.  But it's foolish of me to worry that I'm not getting enough of this or that, or that my day to day routine might be organized differently.  This may be obvious to you.  But to me, in thr throes of trying to feel at home in a new environment, it's been something I've struggled with.

The second Breakthrough Revelation (tm) is that there's book work and there's hands work.  And they don't necessarily have much to do with each other.  And since I can do my book work anywhere where there's a book, I'm better off using my time in the clinic or hospital to do hands work.  Stuff like bunging in drips or ripping them out.  Taking histories.  Doing ECGs.  Wiping blood off the floor.  You don't need to be too smart to do it, but doing it means that I'm getting all up in the grille of the patients and the doctors, so they talk to me and I learn stuff and next time around they might even let me have a go myself.  Once more, obvious stuff, but I've always been a slow learner.

The third Breakthrough Revelation (tm) is that for once I have to be prepared to be a pest.  This year is the only third year I've got, so my usual reticence to be forward is out.  If they think I'm being a pain they can tell me.  Until then, I've got stuff to learn.  So step aside Mr Starchpants, I'm taking over.

The final Breakthrough Revelation (tm) is that I perform at my best when I've had a shitload of coffee.  Okay, so maybe my suturing gets a little shaky.  But my brain is running a million miles an hour and I'm already thinking six patients ahead so let's get this show on the road! 

Bring it on!