Stay in your home and remain calm

Move along! Nothing to see here!

I was just going to type that up and leave it at that. My mind is awhirl with colloids and aneurysms and other such things of which great blogs are not made, so I really couldn't think of anything to write about. But as I wrote it I thought of films I have seen where Our Friends In Blue have stood there saying that while passers-by stand there rubbernecking at the body on the ground or, in the film The Naked Gun, watching the fireworks factory burn down.

There was a point to all this... ah yes! The point is that by telling people there's nothing to see here you instantly arouse their suspicions that you are hiding something fascinating, like a war. Or catastrophic, like a Def Leppard world tour. I thought that if you suspected such a thing of me, that rumours would fly like bananas. And there would be panic in the streets of your town. People fighting over tins of beans.

But really, I'm not hiding a thing. This is all I've got for you today.