Garlic shoots

I can't remember if I've mentioned it before, but there is something about my face which says to complete strangers, "Hi there! I'm very friendly and non-threatening, so if you have any questions or unusual comments to make, I'd love to hear them!"

This usually manifests itself in these main ways:

• Being asked for directions in a city I have never been to before, in a language I do not speak,
• Being asked for money by scruffy teenagers who claim to have missed the bus home and now need to call their worried mothers,
• Having the guy who runs the gym come up to me and tell me rude jokes while I am trying to avoid him (because my membership has expired) and run on the treadmill at the same time,
  
• Having Alexander Downer thrust his bare buttocks towards me and ask to be spanked.

On Saturday, a new one was added to the ever growing list. I became a celebrity chef.

I was in the Chinese shop at the markets buying stuff. (I call it the Chinese shop because it's run by Chinese people, sells all sorts of things with Chinese writing on them, and has Chinese characters on the sign.) I was sorting through a big box of garlic shoots looking for the best bunch when I was tapped on the shoulder by a guy.

The guy was in his fifties, had a grey handle-bar moustache and crew-cut, and wore a denim jacket. He asked me if I had ever been in a Turkish prison. No wait, that was a different guy! This guy asked me, "What are those?", and because I was momentarily stupefied I pointed at the sign that said "Garlic shoots $1.50" and told him they were garlic shoots. He gave me a pitying look and said, "I can see that, but what do you do with them?", so I told him that I used them like green beans, but they cooked a lot faster and were much sweeter, and I liked to stir-fry them with mustard seeds and chilli. He told me he didn't really like chilli but he liked mustard. So maybe he'd try them. Later I saw him animatedly discussing them with a woman who I presumed was his wife.

About half an hour later I was a different store and he buttonholed me again. "You're the guy who buys garlic shoots!", he said. I admitted that this was the case. "I'm going to use them in a salad with some baby octopus!", he told me, sounding very excited. I agreed that this would indeed be delicious and was a great idea. I think he was about to start rummaging through my shopping trolley looking for other inspirational ingredients, but his wife prised him off me and led him away.

If you're out there reading this, Handle-bar Mustache Guy, I hope you enjoyed your garlic shoots! I certainly did!