Med student = apathetic egomaniac

In my tutorial group we have to rate our satisfaction with our own learning outcomes each week on a scale from "very satisfied" right down to "very dissatisfied" via "neutral". It's a bit like being taught medicine by management consultants, and probably has the same outcome. Soon we'll just need reams of butcher's paper instead of textbooks, and Kevin Rudd will probably pop in to see how the "Medicine 2011 Forum" is coming along.

Last week we completely failed to pick up on a couple of pretty important issues which led one of my Perceptive Colleagues to propose a new learning outcome: "full of rage", to be used when you weren't even aware that something was important but now appears to be the loose keystone about to cause a ton of bricks to collapse upon you. "Full of impotent rage" might be more accurate, though perhaps too Freudian.

This is the long way of getting around to telling you that I am currently Full Of Rage regarding the bizarre proliferation of societies for medical students to join and the inept way they are governed. They are like cancers, needlessly multiplying until we are all swamped. Some of them are very general, like the Medical Students Society. Some of them are more specific, like the Overseas Medical Students Society. Some of them are verging on the surreal, like the Doctors Opposed To Rent Increases Society, or the Society For The Prevention Of Proliferation Of Medical Student Societies. To be honest, I don't really object to any one society in particular. There are some I think are good, some I think are stupid, and some I laugh at, but that's true of almost everything. Everyone is part of some special interest group, and that's fine.

The thing that makes me Full Of Rage is that I suspect the reason that we have approximately as many societies as we have students is so that everyone can be President of something. Looks good on the resume, right? President of the Society To Support Medical Students That Are Married To Each Other. I could head up that one. And the great thing is, with such a small membership base, we could easily do absolutely nothing. Yes that's right, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Oh sure, we'd have social events. They ALL have social events. And they justify it to us by saying, "Sometimes you need a break from medicine!", to which I answer, "So why would I want to hang out with a bunch of med students??" Every weekend you have to fend off the mobs of marauding medical student societies out press-ganging for the latest pub crawl. (And why does it always have to be drinking? Why not get together for a Monopoly night and celebrate the glorious history of capitalism? Doctors love money don't they? Oh sorry, not supposed to mention the M-word.)

I am Full Of Rage. Med students. They are so self-obsessed that right here in first year they are already padding their resumes with meaningless positions to make sure that they get into the surgical training program of their choice. (And don't get me started on people who already "know" that they want to specialize AND know precisely which speciality - one for a future post perhaps...) And when they do get elected as the Assistant President For Photocopier Toner Oversight, they go into hibernation for 12 months because they are soooooo busy with their study, only to reappear at the next round of elections to secure the highly prized spot one rung up the ladder. Meanwhile all my photocopies have gone streaky.

Med students. Enough to make you sick.

(I feel so much better now)