Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Fund-raising ideas

Movember - we've all seen the slow-mo train wreck happening year after year right?  It's all about guys growing a mo during November and getting sponsored to raise money for men's health issues.  It's not something I've done myself, despite knowing I would dominate, for two reasons:

  1. It really annoys me that people will happily donate to charity only when someone else is being made to suffer or look absurd.  The ice-bucket challenge - yeah it raised a lot of money but why can't people just donate to worthy causes without all these shenanigans?
  2. My Smaller Half says my Mo is too scratchy.  Sad face.
Nevertheless, it seems to be an effective way to raise money for worthy causes.  Since I won't actually participate in these fund-raisin exercises, I decided that the best way for me to contribute would be to suggest some other monthly fund-raising activities for worthy causes that sometimes struggle to get the support they desperately need.  

  1. Jamuary - Broadcast noise on your neighbor's wi-fi frequencies for a month, and raise money for music education in schools.
  2. Sledruary - Get sponsored to use a toboggan as your sole means of personal transport.  Funds raised to support measures preventing global warming.
  3. Fartch - Raise money by catching all your farts in a jar for a month.  Monies used to support research into Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
  4. Tape-ril - Help raise money for diabetes research by swallowing tapeworm eggs and getting sponsors to pay you for every pound you shed in the next month.
  5. Nay - All you have to do is say "Nay" and "Yea" instead of "No" and "Yes" for a month to help set up holiday farms for retired racehorses.
  6. Dune - To raise money for water purification kits for African villages, get sponsored to wear blue contact lenses all month.  Bonus sponsorship for drinking your own urine.
  7. Jewly - Vow to not visit for a month to raise money for charities fighting antisemitism.
  8. Orcgust - Get your sponsors together and play D&D every night for a month to help fund the fight against autism.
  9. Sectember - Get sponsors to contribute for each follower you indoctrinate into your personal cult.  Have a blast and gather donations for Scientology de-programming all month.
  10. Cocktober - Wear only a chicken suit all month to raise money for eliminating non-free-range chicken farms.
  11. Movember - See the intro...
  12. Freecember - Get your friends/family/colleagues to pledge to support you to eschew money and only engage in barter for a month.  All donations go to the IMF.

No comments: