I went to see a patient recently - while I was trying to examine him he started to peel off the sticky dots with metal buttons that serve as ECG leads. I thought I'd give him a hand, just to try to build up some patient rapport, that kind of thing. But as I reached down to the V3 lead he drooled on me, on my bare skin on the hairy part of my wrist. Ew!
But wait, there's more.
Later on I was walked around and I noticed that my right shoe was going click, click, click. Must be a drawing pin in the bottom of my shoe, I thought. On inspection though I found that I had a big sticky ECG dot on the sole of my shoe.
So there I am, adopting the "I've just stepped in dog poo" posture while I'm trying to peel this thing off my shoe in the nurses station, when around the corner comes a nurse, who stops and raises an inquisitive eyebrow.
I paused dramatically and said, "I think I've been going too hard with my chest compressions".