Tuesday, May 8, 2012

They seek him here, they seek him there

So it seems I have some explaining to do.  My legion of fan has been baying for blood due to my extended absence from the blobosphere.  Here's the deal:

When the Australian dollar nosedived against the peso after a hijacked bus exploded at a tin mine in downtown Brussels, my finances took a battering.  I was sold so short that the debt collectors came knocking on my door before the rear-vision mirrors flew past The Hague.

So I cooked up an elaborate scheme whereby I sold my organs on eBay one by one - always to the same buyer mind you - an elderly squillionaire in Bombay who was naively seeking immortality.  Eventually the total mass of transplanted organs from me passed a critical point and my Theory Of Cumulative Metabolic Consciousness was proved correct when I suddenly found myself an elderly squillionaire in Bombay.

Getting a visa back to Australia was no obstacle.  I simply transferred all assets back to my old self who was still sitting on ice back in Adelaide before re-selling my own organs back to myself, resulting in me waking up cold, scarred, but my old self once more, and filthy rich.

Naturally this kept me quite busy so I didn't have time for blobbing, especially not whilst trying to work as an lazy intern in a busy hospital and being a marginally effective parent to the child progeny Hatchling.  So I apologise to those of you whose lives have been made more bare and stark.  I can only promise that herein I will imitate the sun, who doth permit the base contagious clouds to cover up his blah blah blah etc so it's all like "Here comes the sun, doo doo doo doo" you know?

I'm back.