Thursday, May 10, 2012
The truth is, it's been a dark time. My last post before my prolonged exile from blogging was back in January. On that day I got news that my cousin, just a few weeks younger than me, had died. It was unthinkable to resume writing here as a professional smart-arse, so I thought I'd take a break before posting a moving tribute to her.
And the break grew. Because I didn't know what to say.
How is it, I wondered, that I can write an eloquent and moving tribute to my crusty and decrepit old cat, and even write a eulogy for a pair of underpants, but can't come up with something for a person - a person who had had their whole life, and the lives of her family and friends, stolen away?
So I waited.
I kept waiting for inspiration to strike. I'm a doctor, I thought. I'm close to sickness and death every day. I must have some keen insight to offer. Some deep philosophy to soothe the pain for those still living. I even tried writing something a few times and came up with nothing but cliches.
Eventually I realized that I had nothing new to say. How could I possibly even begin to enlighten, let alone comprehend? How could I be so vain?
My cousin's brother, who, in a coincidence worthy of the Celestine Prophecy, is also my cousin, sent me a message after she died saying that she had really enjoyed reading this blog and that it had made her happy to laugh at it. I was thinking about that message when finally I decided that if all I could come up with to honour her life was cliches, then I'd do so with the worst cliche of all - "This is what she would have wanted".
So, K, the resumption of this blog is dedicated to you and to everyone who shed a tear for you, myself included. I like to think you would smile to read it.