Friday, July 8, 2011

A cunning plan

My problem is that I am a bad liar.

When I go home in the afternoon, my Smaller Half will conversationally enquire about what I had for lunch.  And if I had a moment of weakness and had hot chips for lunch I am unable to adequately account for my time and money.  I know perfectly well that not only are chips bad for me but I also feel queasy afterward and regret them.

"Err", I say, "My lunch.  Indeed, my lunch was delicious!  I had something good, I can't recall now the details but it was very satisfying."

"You had chips didn't you?" asks my Smaller Half.

"Yes", I say, "I am so ashamed."

The stupid thing is that even though I know I need an alibi, I am unable to come up with one because I don't want to actually lie.  It would be easy to just tell her that I had a chicken sandwich or some such innocuous thing.  But I think that if a man is going to fib about his lunch he isn't much of a man.

So this is my plan from now on: "I had some potato salad".

Brilliant, eh?  If pressed for details I can concede that it was a deep-fried potato salad, of the French variety.  But otherwise, the truth remains safe with me, you, and the internet.


Anonymous said...

And don't forget the brown salty salad dressing you sometimes put on top

PTR said...

Mmmm, that salad dressing is so good!