School Report Card

Homework: C
Your tactic of concentrating on the last item to create the impression that you did all of the preceding ones just as thoroughly is fooling no-one. Try starting before 11:30 pm the previous evening.

Punctuality: C-
Your obvious enthusiasm for arriving exactly on time has been marred by the sad fact that you cannot park your car right by the door of the classroom.

Enthusiasm: D
Off to a slow start due to the understandable O-Week malaise caused by interminable "introductory" lectures where nothing was done except for informing us that it was compulsory to attend exams, and other such astonishing facts. Then you really slowed down into a full-reverse mope, with no explanation forthcoming.

Lunch: A-
You would have earned an A+ except for that time when you turned up with a huge container of pasta with nothing on it but butter, which distressed some of the other students.

Appearance: B
Considering the material you have to work with, you've done surprisingly good work.