This week on MasterChef

Another amazing week of culinary feats this week on MasterChef!  Let's look ahead to the highlights:

• On Monday, watch the contestants scurry to cook a meal in just 45 minutes, using only ingredients that start with the letter Q.  Jessica prepares a quail and quinoa quesadilla, while Kha plans a quince quiche with quark, but runs into a quirky quandary.  Who will win the day?
• Tuesday: Mystery Box!  The contestants are always pushed to the limit by the Mystery Box and tonight is no exception. They are required to design, prepare and serve a seafood luncheon to the missing aviatrix Amelia Earhart.  Georgia and Jamie team up to scour the floor of the Pacific Ocean for fresh ingredients and the wreckage of her plane.  Do they have what it takes to succeed?
• On Wednesday, the budding chefs are challenged to a contest of basic skills.  They are given 10 minutes to remove and fillet their own leg, something most of them have never done before. Reynold concocts an impromptu blood sausage before lapsing into unconsciousness, while Jarrod panics and cuts off his left arm by mistake, necessitating a visit to the MasterChef nurse.
• On Thursday, the contestants visit the training venue of the Australian Paralympic basketball team for inspiration.  In a poorly timed challenge of questionable taste, they are required to prepare and serve a three course service without using their hands.  Jarrod comes roaring back into the competition as the only cook with two functional lower limbs.
• Finally, they are divided into two teams for the weekend brunch challenge. The Red team must cook in an atmosphere of pure oxygen, while the Blue team must cook with no oxygen at all. Can you guess who dies in a fiery explosion, and who succumbs to hypoxic brain injury?  And will it affect their chances in the ensuing elimination challenge?

For recipes, filleting tips, and lessons in basic chemistry, why not visit the MasterChef website? Tune in tonight to watch our search for Australia's 2015 ...  MASTERCHEF!

Nostalgia

I remember seeing the film se7en in the cinema when it came out. Apart from the pretentious alphanumeric title and the repulsive tortureporn vibe, the thing that struck me most were the credits. They were like a rock video. Jittery, buzzing, energetic, packed with attitude. And the best part of the film as it turns out.

When the first Daniel Craig 007 film came out, those credits were the best I'd ever seen. They were hypnotic. A shifting maze of colour and movement and danger. Which was no small feat given they came after arguably the best Bond prologue ever.

I thought they couldn't be beaten. But the most recent Bond film's opening titles left me gaping. The blood in the water. The skeletal teeth turning into tombstones. The underground/drowning/death/shadow thing was some heavy shit, man. I wanted to go and see the film again just so I could see the title sequence. So I looked it up on YouTube and you know what? They were clever but not all that, sister. Too clever. Too many references to the film itself. Too cerebral. Disappointing.

But you know the best opening credits OF ALL TIME??? A children's program called In The Night Garden. The visuals and the music fuse to form a perfect image so beautiful that every time I see the show I nearly cry. The boat recedes over the waves, the stars burn bright in the sky, and as the string melody swells, the stars burst into flower and we are pushing our way through the blossoms and into the Night Garden.

It captures for me perfectly that feeling when I was a child of being lost in a dream and half knowing it, half not. Of feeling the bed roll and sway as you float up towards the ceiling. It's the music of a lost age.

I can't remember if I've mentioned before that the word "nostalgia" derives from concept of a painful memory, but now has come to mean a longing for a thing long gone. These credits trigger memories I never had. They are the best ever. And it's on TV every night at 6.30 pm.

Tune in, turn back, drop off.