And you - YOU, Dear Reader - will be able to say that you got in on the ground floor.
Here's how it goes. At the moment, if the pigeons keep shitting on your car, you buy a plastic owl and stick it on the roof of your garage. "Holy shit!", the pigeons think. "I don't want to get eaten by an owl. I'm off!" And they leave. But eventually even a pigeon will realize that the owls never move. They clue in to the owl being fake, and come back in even greater numbers. It'll be like that Alfred Hitchcock film, "The Pigeons That Kept Shitting On My Car".
So my initial plan was to instead attach a plastic pigeon to the roof of your garage. The owls would see it, and come to attack it. The real pigeons would then see the owls attacking the fake pigeon and think, "Holy shit! I don't want to get eaten by an owl. I'm off!" And they would leave.
The problem with this plan is that:
- owls are smarter than pigeons, and
- it's a lot easier to realize that something is plastic when you're trying to eat it than when you're trying to hide from it.
So my revised plan, now known as PTR's All-Natural Method For The Repulson Of Pigeons(tm), is to sprinkle bird seed on the roof of your garage. Real bird seed, not plastic, in case you're wondering. The (real) pigeons come to eat the (real) bird seed, the (real) owls come to eat the (real) pigeons, and the (real) pigeons think, "Holy shit! I don't want to get eaten by an owl. I'm off!" And they leave.
Who's interested? I need seed capital.