The other day during the nursing handover we were astonished to discover that one of our patients has been doing his own FBC - full blood count.
He gets all the blood taking equipment ready, puts on the tourniquet, finds a good vein, draws the blood, makes a slide and examines it under a microscope, counting the different numbers of cells in a random selection of high-power field views, and then analyses the rest of the sample to get a haemoglobin level and all the other palaver. Pretty amazing. But then I guess he has a fair bit of time of his hands, being a patient with nothing else to do.
Sadly, it was all in my mind. He does indeed do his own FBC - but it's the fluid balance chart. He merely keeps track of his fluid input and urine output volumes. I preferred my version.