Monday, November 19, 2012
Pain or something like it
Medical bloggers love to bang on about the 1-10 pain scale, usually to comic effect. Here's my contribution, but with cynical intern burn-out substituted for comic effect:
So, the 1-10 pain scale, eh? In my experience, there's no need for anything so elaborate. There are only 4 actual subcategories of pain.
1-4. Bearable pain. Take paracetamol (known in the USA as epinephrine. No wait, that's something else. Forget it.).
5. Unable to articulate character, site, severity, onset etc etc etc. Refer to a general medical team. They love these guys.
6-10. Severe pain. Give opioids and request a general surgical review. They'll need a baseline before the patient re-presents with constipation from all the opioids you gave them.
11. Drug seeker. Or renal colic. Either way, some indomethacin up the butt will give someone some relief.