The Doc Is A Cock

I sat in the clinic
I sat there all day
With nothing to do
And nothing to say

I sat there all morning
Just watching the clock
Because when I turned up
The Doc was a cock

When he saw me arrive
His door shut in my face
That Doc didn't want me
Right there in that place

So I sat in a chair
That was there by the door
And I waited and sat
And I waited some more

That chair I was in
Felt as hard as a rock
But I couldn't just leave
Cos the Doc was a cock

I knew that he'd badmouth me
All over town
I knew that he'd fail me
Not with a frown

But with a self-satisfied
Smirk on his beard
Which was just the expression
That everyone feared

So I made myself stand up
And go back to knock
On the door of the Doc
Who was such a big cock

He opened the door
When he saw me he sneered
Then he smirked all the way
From his toes to his beard

"Oh please let me in
to your clinic" I cried
"For I've heard you have
Marvelous patients inside"

"With murmurs to hear
And lungs to percuss
And hist'ries bizarre
That they'd like to discuss"

But the Doc was a cock
He said (just to be mean)
That I was the worst student
He'd ever seen

"You have not even seen me
Your claim is a crock"
Then he laughed in my face
Cos the Doc was a cock

But then he relented
Invited me in
Brought in a patient
And said "Let's begin"

"Perhaps you can tell me
From one simple look
From the moment you saw him
Why this man is crook"

I had no idea
I would have to fly blind
So I said anything
That came into my mind

"Is it Anderson syndrome?
Or arthrogryposis?
Moya-moya disease?
Or perhaps ichthyosis?"

"I know Miller's and Larsen's
And Marfan's and Plott's and
A whole host of others
Like Saethre-Chotzen"

"Perhaps it is Patau's
Perhaps Laurence-Moon
Or Pierre-Robin syndrome
Or Mounier-Kuhn"

When I looked at the Doc
His face had gone red
And I thought I saw steam
Coming out of his head

He showed me the door
And then turned the lock
But I really don't mind
Cos the Doc was a cock