Stairway to heaven

I'm feeling a bit old today. It seems I am not only prone to reverie, but also prone to falls. Yesterday I took a tumble down the steps at my house.

If it was a movie, everything would have been in slow motion and as I lay there afterwards I would have had an epiphany of some kind regarding the changes I should make in my life.

But since it was real life, there was no slow-mo and no epiphany. I just found myself suddenly hurtling through the air and splatting against the ground before untangling my limbs, getting up, and running around going "fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck" which is what I usually do when I hurt myself.

I scraped the hell out of my arm on the wall, which is coated with that disgusting spiky concrete stuff that seems purpose designed to really hurt if you fall on it. I also wrenched my leg, which somehow had gotten caught on one of the steps as I fell and so my foot was pulled up between my shoulder blades. However, it was this that arrested my descent, like an enormous meat bungy, so I can't complain.

Later on, as I was going down the steps again I saw a huntsman spider the size of my hand running up the wall beside my head. I flinched and nearly went down the steps again. Now I'm really paranoid about those steps. Ideally I'd get one of those assisted chair-lift things to carry me up and down to my front door, but that's not really been an option ever since I saw that old woman get launched out of her window by one in Gremlins when I was young and impressionable.

For now I'll just hold the handrail.