Funny blog content

The other day during the nursing handover we were astonished to discover that one of our patients has been doing his own FBC - full blood count.

He gets all the blood taking equipment ready, puts on the tourniquet, finds a good vein, draws the blood, makes a slide and examines it under a microscope, counting the different numbers of cells in a random selection of high-power field views, and then analyses the rest of the sample to get a haemoglobin level and all the other palaver.  Pretty amazing.  But then I guess he has a fair bit of time of his hands, being a patient with nothing else to do.

Sadly, it was all in my mind.  He does indeed do his own FBC - but it's the fluid balance chart.  He merely keeps track of his fluid input and urine output volumes.  I preferred my version.

My dog has no nose

Boss

Come in to my office.  Does it smell funny?

PTR

Why?

Boss

My last patient had urinary incontinence and I'm wondering if I've aired the room enough.

PTR

I've got a cold so I can't really tell.

Boss

How convenient.  You should cultivate that cold.

PTR

I have a 2 year old at home so there's no need. We have colds on tap.

Boss

How lucky you are.