All Australians are thieves

The Hatchling was just over a year old when I first caught her shoplifting.  She was in the pram, we'd done a circuit of a shop, nothing much had really caught my eye, so we'd moved on down the road to another store.  En route I looked down and saw that she had a bright green toy bird in her hand that I had never seen before.  She looked very pleased with herself too.  She must have just reached out and grabbed it without me noticing.  Very light-fingered.

I took it back to the shop and asked if they sold birds like this.  They did.  I explained that my daughter had stolen it.  They complimented me on my honesty.

I've spent the three days since trying to get her more interested in Omega watches and black truffles.  No progress so far.

Not really

Checkout Person
That'll be $87.76

Smaller Half
The register only says $28.76

Checkout Person
Oh, you know what I mean.

Wants

My holiday in the Philippines was a great success.

One of my favourite parts of each day is when my Word Of The Day email arrives.  Each one has a feature word, the origin of the word, other words from that same origin, one or two examples, and, tucked away down the bottom of the message, an unrelated quote.  The quote is actually the best bit, in my humble opinion.  The feature words are often too obscure to be of use in daily life, although from time to time I do work them into a blob.

Today's quote was interesting:

To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness. - Bertrand Russell, philosopher, mathematician, author, Nobel laureate (1872-1970)

Now "Plastic" Bertrand is a smart guy.  Nobel prize, philosophy, books, mathematics, and he was a dab hand at the old "pull my finger" joke too.  But in this case, he's talking bunkum.  The list of things that I want is short but I can guarantee you that if you generous readers would pool your resources and get them for me, I'd be happy as a clam.

So if any of you have the following things just lying around, please send them to me.

• Mazda MX5 hardtop.
• Twelve or so 25/28mm Persian cataphracts.
• A CD unscratcher.
• A barbecue.
• A fringed buckskin jacket like the one in that film with Jon Voigt that I haven't seen yet.
• A card marked "Get out of jail free (also good for exams)".
• A banjo and the inclination to practise.

Chip in now and put a smile on my dial.