Every grain of rice you don't eat will be a pockmark on your face when you grow up.But what really piqued my interest was that they didn't say that to her brother. To him they said,
Every grain of rice you don't eat will be a pockmark on your wife's face when you grow up.Ah, the gender politics of grain consumption.
I came across two more when reading Maeve O'Meara's Food Safari yesterday. From Vietnam we have:
Every grain of rice you waste becomes a maggot that you have to eat in Hell.Ingenious, not only because of the rice=maggot image that lingers in your mind for far too long, especially if you eat rice regularly, but because of the inbuilt assumption that you're going to Hell anyway.
And from Japan we have:
Be careful when washing rice - if even one grain goes down the drain, you'll go blind.At first glance this really ups the ante - blindness for just one grain! But in my opinion it's misguided. Once that first grain is lost by accident - and accidents happen - further losses are insufficiently disincentivized.
If any of you were threatened in brutal or baroque ways by your parents for wasting rice, I'd like to hear about it. Please, for the sake of future generations, speak up!
9 comments:
To her brother they said "Every grain of rice you don't eat will be a pockmark on your wife's face when you grow up."
...Perhaps they were just trying to encourage him to be gay? He could retain his slim boyish figure and snakeish hips (from not bulking up on all that rice) and the pock-marks would end up on the face of someone else's wife.
To be honest, I think not.
I was told that if I dropped a single grain of rice onto the table, that grain of rice would become life-size at night and try to eat me. Never ever spilled a grain after that....
Eh? A life-size grain of rice would be about the size of .. er ... a grain of rice. Are you particularly small? Or just easily scared?
My Smaller Half watched me type in that previous comment and said, "You're such a smart arse".
In other news, Americans found to be fat and stupid. Details at 10.
What is love?
More to the point, when?
I would have preferred that you answered "baby don't hurt me"
And I probably would have if I was a mindless drug-addled gen-Y net-freak like you, rather than a dazzlingly charismatic and insightful blobber with DOZENS of page hits every year, like me.
Post a Comment